By Brad Marcoux

Most people take marriage seriously, and hold high hopes for their new relationships. Little wonder then that prenuptial agreements aren't high on any betrothed's desirability list. After all, thinking about a prenuptial agreement is often feared akin to planning the end of a relationship before it's even begun. But in these times of soaring divorce rates and uncertain financial stability, it only makes sense that people should be concerned with such practicalities, dreary though they may be. While deciding between a Caribbean or a Mediterranean honeymoon is undoubtedly more pleasurable, if there's any uncertainty about your forthcoming marriage, financial or otherwise, then you should consider creating a prenuptial agreement.

Simply put, a prenuptial (also known as an antenuptial) agreement is a legal agreement signed by you and your future spouse. Normally, they deal with straightforward financial and legal issues in the event of a divorce or a death -- what will be done with the house, any stocks, bonds, or other such marital assets. They might also include some extras like custody arrangements, spousal support, or even what happens to the family pet. Finances are generally the main focus, but even the pettiest details can be included. Anything and everything under the sun can go into a "prenup." So if you feel the need to restrict your intended's bathroom privileges, or outline a schedule for walking the dog, go ahead and have it included. Just be aware that such "extras" can be legally murky and expensive, and so should generally be considered as more psychologically reassuring than legally binding.

Although most agreements are relatively straightforward, this doesn't mean that they are simple. The emotional cost alone could be prohibitive: 10% of people who begin to pursue a prenuptial arrangement decide against the marriage because of the strain it causes. Arguing that such relationships wouldn't have lasted anyway doesn't make the concept any less daunting, either. "Prenuptial agreements are very stressful," warns Curtis Bennett Ross, a Chicago CPA and attorney in private practice. "But they are also very legitimate, especially if one of the pair has been through divorce in the past." It may be seem a foolish idea to put your relationship at risk over finances, but consider this: if the two of you are unable to sit down and talk rationally about your needs and fears when your relationship is good, then how bad might it be if things ever turn sour

If you are a New York City Police Officer, Fireman, Teacher or if you are married to one, you should know that City Pensions are worth alot of money. I recently had a pension valued for a New York City Fireman, it was worth almost two million dollars.
If your spouse is employed by New York City, have their pension valued. Many people are so focused on just getting a divorce that they overlook this important asset. I always know when a pension is worth alot of money when one spouse comes to my office and says "my husband wants a simple uncontested divorce " The first question I ask is " is your spouse employed by the City of New York? " I once vlaued a pension from the Sanitation Department. It was worth well over five hundred thousand dollars.

In New York it is advisable to get a pre nup if you are entering the marriage with any property of value, including real estate, a business or a licence or a degree. It is even more important if you are attending law school or medical school. A pre nup will protect you against your degree or business becomming marital property.

A pre nup will protect everybody in the marriage. It sets forth each parties rights in the event of a divorce or separation.

In a pre nup the parties can agree before marriage if mainenance (allimony) is appropriate and if it is, what amount should be payed. It seems better to have these numbers set and not leave it up to a Judge at some time in the future. Generally, high wage earners want to limit the amount of maintenance they would have to pay in the event of a divorce.

Unfortunately, custody and visitation cases in New York are messy. There reallly are no winners. When one parent will lie, and make false allegations, it is difficult for some Judges to have a clear understanding if one party is actually telling the truth.

No matter how angry you are at the other parent, always decided your strategy on what would be best for the child and or children. Is it really worth it to have a custody or visitatation fight for an extra day per week? Some people would say yes. Others would say it was not worth dragging the kids through the process. In the end, nobody wins. Judges do not want to decide every aspect each case that is before them. When negotiating a visitation or custody case in NY, remain firm in your position, however, try to understand the other sides position and try to develop a settlement that both of you can live with.

In New York, the Courts will require that you pay your pro rata share of summer camp if the summer camp is for child child while the custodial parent is at work. The appellate division in Maolica recently ruled that the non custodial parent must pay his pro rata share of summer camp expenses. http://www.nycourts.gov/reporter/3dseries/2006/2006_05021.htm
It is important in NY, to be specific in all child support agreements. Many lawyers forget about the small points and litigants are disappointed years later when one of the parties sues for these expenses.

The Courts in New York are all over the place when it comes to relocation with a child. Recently, the first department overturned a case that denied relocation without a hearing to determine what is in the childs' best interest. You can read this case and still be confused http://www.nycourts.gov/reporter/3dseries/2006/2006_05137.htm

Each Judge or hearing examiner in New York attempts to follow the law. When you are defending a relocation case or trying to move with your child, you must be prepared. Gather all the information, like school records, medical records, employment information, housing costs etc. Relocation cases require a great deal of preparation and knowledge. Do not go into Court unprepared. Know all the facts and be prepared to litigate.
http://www.nycourts.gov/reporter/3dseries/2006/2006_04838.htm

http://www.nycourts.gov/reporter/3dseries/2006/2006_05592.htm

Read the most recent case in New York concerning a prenup agreement. Always consult an attorney before you sign one of these.

In New York State, it is possible to have a marriage annuled. There has to be a really good reason, like fraud or a material lie that induced one of the parties to enter a marriage. Generally, annulments are more difficult and a little more complicated than getting a divorce. I never try to sway a client either way. If the facts present itself, and it is appropriate, my office will proceed with an annulment. Unless a divorce is against your reliegion, it has the same practical effect as an annulment. Many people however, want an annulment for emotional reasons.

In New York many people constantly struggle over custody and visitation issues. Many people call my office and are fearful that their ex is going to take their child because a custody and visitation order are not in place. If you are married or were divorced in New York you can file an emergency order to show cause in New York State Supreme Court. If you were never married you can file in Family Court.
Filing in Court is a very powerful tool. Depending on the nature of the emergency , you will receive a return date in Court in a few days. Be prepared. Know all your facts. Try to gather evidence like School records, medical records, financial records, emails between yourseld and your ex.
Most importantly, hire a lawyer who specializes in custody and visitation issues in New York.

Financial disclosure is mandatory in New York divorce cases. Judges get annoyed at litigants who do not comply with discovery. Many times it is the lawyers fault for not complying. Many lawyers are disorganized and do not advise their clients properly. I have been in Court countless times when Judges yell at the lawyers and their clients for failing to turn over discovery documents. Common sence tells you not to have the Judge who is deciding your future feel you are trying to hide something from the other side.

.....If you own a home or your spouse has assets in their name, some New York Divorce lawyers will take your case for a reduced initial retainer. In NY either party can apply for legal fees from their husband or wife.

Every day in State Supreme Courts in New York City, Judges warn divorce litigants that if they do not settle their case they will proceed to trial. Whether you should go to trial or not should be determined after a long discussion with your lawyer. Your should make sure the lawyer that you have has the experience to actually try your case. Many divorce litigants are surprised at how little experience their own lawyer actually has. Sometimes people are forced to trial because their husband or wife is actually crazy. Some people are so bitter that they cannot determine if the deal that is on the table is actually a fair deal.

Make sure you have a divorce lawyer in New York who actually has experience. An experienced divorce lawyer who has trial experience will generally always prevail against a lawyer without the same level of experience. Counseling people during a divorce is a skill, many lawyers lack tihs skill and ultimately their clients will suffer. A deal is only good if your divorce lawyer explains all the ramifications of the settlement. If your lawyer cannot answer your questions in an intelligent and coherent mannner, Run.